Ring the Bell!

Ring the Bell!
September 19, 2018

     I came in to Banner Gateway Hospital for the day. Mikie told me his white blood cell counts were up. From 0.3 to 1.6. We knew he needed to be at 1.5 before he could be sent home. We knew this number could appear anytime from Day 11- Day 14. It was Day 11 yesterday when I walked in the door. Soon after I got there, the cancer doctor appeared with his entourage on his daily rounds. And guess what he said, "I'm sending you home". He has been telling Mike this week that he is one of the smoothest transplant patients to have come through the program.
     Jessica and I had been planning on taking our little Kenz to the airport. Kenz is heading to Denmark for the next 8 months to nanny. Isn't that something? She is so brave. So, that is what we did. It was a bittersweet farewell. I hurried back to get Mike's  affairs in order  so we could get out of there.
    When it was finally time to leave, the nursing staff gathered around the Bell. This is a tradition for any cancer survivor, probably anywhere in the world, to do before they exit their place of treatment. My Mikie was emotional to see all the staff who had given him such excellent care gathered around for a final good-bye.
    Now, this is our "dilemma". It has been a solid five months since Mike was diagnosed in England, we came home, bought a house, moved, and began intense treatment leading up to this stem cell transplant. How can it be only 5 months? It seems like a lifetime ago. Our service time in England
seems as if it was a dream. We have been reliving our first days in England this week as it was a year ago when we arrived there.  We realize now that Mike went to England with cancer. But today, it is truly hard for us to believe Mike is "cured" of  that same cancer.
    Does ringing the bell mean he is truly free to live his life as before? Will he get strong enough to do that very thing? When can we truly feel at ease that this adventure is over? Are we demonstrating a lack of faith? We both still feel as if we are crossing a minefield. He is still frail and neutropenic. We have to stay down here in the valley for 30 more days. We can do it! Look how far he has come. He has a new immune system. We just have to guard it and him for the next year. Then what? Will that bell be ringing in our ears as a reminder that, because of the Lord's tender care, he is still here? We are counting on that. Isn't the Lord so very kind? We so hope he forgives us for questioning Mike's recovery.